Good Grief!

The dreaded unfriending came without any warning. Our friendship had been on the rocks for a while, with her pulling away from me and shutting me out of her life. But, I had held on to the hope that things would change. I had held on to believing that she would figure life out and want things between us to go back to how they used to be. This weekend, she made it abundantly clear that all the things I had hoped for will never happen. This weekend, she hit one button and ended over 17 years of friendship.
I know how you grieve the death of a friend, but how do you grieve the loss of a friend who is still living, breathing and going on with life? 

For two days now, I have tortured my husband by trying to analyze exactly what happened that led this friend to delete me from her life. I have spent more time than I should crying, wondering why this person doesn't want to be my friend anymore and feeling like she truly hates me. I have picked myself apart, asking what I did wrong that caused this friendship to end. 

All of my analyzing, crying and self-pity has led me to one conclusion: I didn't do anything wrong. My now ex-friend and I simply grew apart. We grew and changed into different people, and the lives we both lead now simply aren't compatible anymore. 

I truly believe that some people are put in your life at certain times to help you through specific things. While I thought, this particular friend was going to be a forever friend, I think she really was probably more of the type of person who was put in my life for a certain period of time for a specific reason. She gave me someone to relate to as I went through some of the hardest parts of my life, and she was a great support at one point. I think I acted in the same way for her. Now, it's time for both of us to head our separate ways and focus on other people who need us. 

While the loss of this friendship still stings and probably will continue to hurt for a while, I know that it's time to move on. I am SO blessed to have other friends who I know will be with me forever. It's time to stop focusing on this friendship that is over and to start focusing more on these forever friendships that I value so much!